I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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