My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
