she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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