Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
