New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
