We're like a lot better than the average bears
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize