just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
