Please, let me fuck your mom
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
