He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
