piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
