I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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