Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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