if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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