She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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