Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize