You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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