There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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