Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
