I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
