I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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