Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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