Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
