you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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