i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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