Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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