i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
