Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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