I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
