Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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