i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
