It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
