He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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