i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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