I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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