know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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