so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
