Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
