We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
