wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
