I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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