If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
