I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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