he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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