I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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