I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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