apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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