there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
