I met the friendliest cop last night
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
