I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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