So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
