I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
