for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
