There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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