her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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