I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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