I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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