great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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