u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
