I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
