We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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