As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
