So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize