dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
