My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize