please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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