you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
