i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
