whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
