I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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