I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish i was in the wii world.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
