it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
