She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
