I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
