My room smells like vodka and shame
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
