Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Everything about him screamed your future.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
