I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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