I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
