A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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