i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
